Friday, December 4, 2009

Sad day...

All week I've been excited for today, because I was going to announce some exciting news. At the beginning of October I found out that I was Pregnant. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. We had been trying for 10 months. Which is nothing compared to how long a lot of people have to try. But it finally happened, we were going to have a baby in June.

This morning I had my 2nd Dr's appointment, he went to hear the heart beat and he couldn't find it. He said that sometimes happens because 12 weeks is the earliest you can hear the heart beat. So we went to the ultra sound room to see if he could see the heart beat. When he did the ultra sound, he said he measured the baby at 9 1/2 weeks, I was supposed to be 12 weeks along. And he couldn't see the heart beat. He told me I had a "missed miscarriage". So, I had a miscarriage, but my body didn't recognize it, so my baby is still inside of me, but its not alive. So on Friday I'll go in for a D&C.

When I hit about 9 1/2-10 weeks, i noticed I started feeling a lot better, I wasn't nauseous anymore, or tired, I didn't feel pregnant anymore. I thought I was lucky and my first trimester symptoms had ended early. Before I started feeling better, I felt like crap and I couldn't wait for it to be over. But right now, I can't wait to feel like crap again!

I do believe that this happened for a reason, and I'll have a baby when I'm supposed to. And now I'm just trying to focus on the positive side of things. Before we got pregnant we were planning on going to Disney world in June, and now we can go. Even though I'd rather have a baby then go to Disney World. I'm glad this happened now, and not while I was further along. And I hear that after you get pregnant once its easier to get pregnant again.

If you know me very well, you know that I can't keep a secret, especially when it's exciting news. So when I found out I was pregnant, we told immediate family, a couple Friends, and people at work (it's especially hard to keep secrets from people I see every day). So I decided to blog about this to let everyone who knew I was pregnant know that I'm not now. I didn't want to have to explain this a bunch of times. So now I've learned my lesson and next time I won't tell people until I'm further along. Even though its fun to tell people exciting news, It sucks even more to tell people bad news.

8 comments:

Laura and Tyrone said...

Sorry to hear that! Hope you're feeling okay and that you recover well.

ashley said...

im so sorry to hear your news, you guys have a great perspective on the big picture which will be comforting in the days to come. hang in there.

Natalie said...

Marnae,

I am so sorry! It is so hard to go through a miscarriage, especially after you had to wait so long to get pregnant. I had two miscarriages before I had Madison. They were both in the first trimester and we had tried for many, many months as well. You have such a great outlook on what has happened, which is great. It is true that these things happen for a reason and this experience will make you a stronger, more compassionate person. It just sucks that these things have to happen!!! I love you Marnae!! Hang in there!!

Natalie

HillsRus said...

Oh Marnae! I'm sorry to hear about that. I hope you are ok and that you recover soon. We love you!!

Carlynne said...

I am so sorry to hear what happened. I know that I can't understand what your going through, but I did want to let you know that we care about you and Clint and that we love you both. I can only imagine how hard this must be. You sound like you are handling it amazingly well. If you ever need anything let me know.

Carlynne

Marnae & Clint Carter said...

Thank you for all your comments I really appreciate it!

John and Bethany said...

Marnae, so sorry to hear this news. We will be praying for you and your family. Love you guys!

Jilian Webb Porter said...

Hi Marnae....saw your post on Facebook and wanted to check it out. I know 100% how you feel and how hard it is. I miscarried my second pregnancy two years ago in February and haven't been able to get pregnant since. The hardest thing I've ever been through and I'm sure you feel the same. But, like everyone else has been saying, just keep a positive perspective (and it sounds like you do) and I am sure that the Lord will bless you when the time is right.